Thobwa

On Thursday afternoon Agogo (the female grandparent, although both grandparents have the same title) asked me if I wanted to go with her to the neighbors house to help her make Thobwa. We walked down the road, through some neighbor’s yards, over a stream, and down another dirt road. We came to a house surrounded by a half brick wall and half grass fence. As we entered into the yard, there were a few women and children sitting on bamboo mats near some steel oil drums sitting on top of a fire. The drums were filled to the rim with water which were in the process of coming to a boil. Once the water came to a boil, the ladies started to add some sort of flour. We were going to make Thobwa, a special occasion drink made, in this instance, for a wedding coming this Saturday. Thobwa is a drink that is to be served after the ceremony but before the reception. When I asked if it was an alcoholic drink one lady said, “No. There is no alcohol.” Then Agogo told me, “Yes, there is alcohol, but not until Saturday.” I still don’t really know the answer to my question.

While we were waiting for the water to boil, I entertained some children on a mat, all the time aware that more women and children kept coming in through the gate. After about 20 minutes there were approximately 30 women in the yard. The ladies started to form a circle and then the festivities began. The women were all singing and clapping their hands, at times stomping the ground, while at others there were women lying on the ground in the center of the circle shaking their bodies as if they were having a seizure. This, I was informed, was a typical “dance” maneuver, maybe I should try it at the next Portuguese wedding! While the dancing continued people started throwing money into the center of the circle. As the women danced, I watched and tried to socialize as best I could, keeping myself out of the dancing until I could eye up the "competition.” It didn’t take long for several women to approach me and attempt to drag me into the center of the circle. I pulled back and said I couldn’t dance because of my sore back. (This is not a lie at all, I sprained my back a few days prior and had been lying on my back for 4 days). Agogo told them that I had a bad back and that I would dance with them on Saturday. "Saturday? Why would I dance with them on Saturday?" I thought to myself, until I realized we were invited to the wedding! Since I was helping out with the Thobwa, (I stirred the mixture around for about 5 minutes) I guess I had earned an invitation to the wedding. I think I should try crashing a Thobwa making party every week, that way I could attend a reception every weekend! It will be a new method of Wedding Crashing! Brilliant!

Three hours later, it was now dusk and the party was dying down. The mixture had boiled to its proper state and was ready to be transferred to the next stage. Every bucket or pot that was available was dipped into the mixture, filled up, and brought to a storage room (an abandoned house in the backyard with a goat living inside) where it was poured into large plastic blue bins. The mixture was to cool and settle overnight.

While the transfer was occurring, the money that had been thrown about during the dancing was being counted. The money was then distributed amongst the best dancers, or the ones who participated the most in the center of the circle. This is to encourage maximum attendance at the party and to “create a happy work environment.”

The next day Agogo was headed off to choir practice and then to the second stage of Thobwa Fest! Unfortunately I could not attend due to previous engagements and thus would have to wait until Saturday to taste test the Thobwa.

Saturday, the day of the wedding had arrived. My sister Dephin had leant me a traditional Malawian dress to wear to the wedding. Most of the family minus Portia and Natalia were going to be attending as well. The reason that Poshia could not attend is because she was due to have her baby at any moment, and Natalia had to stay around the house to do chores, guard the house from thieves, and help Poshia incase she went into labour.

Agogo explained to me that “we will not go to the ceremony that is for family only. We will go to the reception in the afternoon.” So at 3o’clock we started making the 3km walk to the wedding. When we arrived at the hall we were all led right up to the front to have a seat and be introduced to everyone. The reception hall was set up similar to an auditorium. There were rows of seats and then the couple sat on the stage with the rest of the wedding party. There was a live band with 6 singers, 3 men and 3 women. While the singers performed, they also danced and put on a nice show. There were people dancing in the center of the room, all of whom were throwing money into a basket, a man followed the basket around picking up the money that didn’t make it in on first shot. After our introduction the MC called upon another couple to come and dance for everyone. Once the couple was announced the music started up and the money kept flying all over the room as if it were confetti. It was so much fun to watch everyone dance and have a good time.

When it came time to cut the cake, the bride and groom performed this little ceremony very similarly to our Western traditions, except once the cake was cut the bride went off to serve pieces to their grandparents, parents and any other “important” guests. The bride came up to me, knelt down and passed me some cake. We all received the privilege of having the bride serve us some cake. I felt really awkward because I knew that it was another white privilege situation that I did not want to be involved in. I didn’t want to insult the bride or the family so I took the cake and smiled. It was delicious!

After the cake was served, only one last tradition remained, the prayer. Agogo (male) got up and asked everyone to be quiet so that he could lead them all in a prayer. I have no idea what he said, except for, “Amen.” The prayer signified that the wedding was over. The music came back on, and this time everyone was encouraged to get up and dance, and throw more money, of course. This was the first time that the children were permitted to dance, so they rushed onto the dance floor. It was a frenzy of people trying to dance before the music was cut off. While everyone was on the dance floor, I took the opportunity to find some Thobwa. Unfortunately there was no Thobwa to be found. It had all been drunk before we arrived at the reception hall. I did manage to find someone with a half empty glass of Thobwa, but I didn’t want to take it from him. It resembled a glass of milk with a little bit of NesQuick in it, except in this case the colour of the milk was beige and the small chunks floating around were not chocolate. I suppose I'll simply have to take up my wedding crasher plan in order to get the opportunity to try some Thobwa…there has to be another wedding coming soon.

After the wedding festivities were over we made our way back to the house and enjoyed a nice meal of…you guessed it, Nsima!